i post to myself

hello me
hello you
how are you?
you know me, i'm good, how about you?
i'm good too.so tell me what's new
same old same old nothing new

something that just spoke to me.

WAKE UP AND BE FREE

another unwritten thought

i've been walking around the streets and clicking photos of interesting things like street art and graffiti and stuffs like that for a while now. i have been posting them up on the facebook as well as tumblr. well, that's not the part that i wanna talk about. what i wanna talk about is, how people judge you when you're clicking photos. not that i cared before, cause trust me you i stop and click photos every where i go to and i never do mind people starring at the thing that i click photos of or WHO for the matter of fact.

the judgmental thing came across my mind one day when i was click the posted photos. those are supposed to be together but my cellphone is incapable of clicking both at the same time. well, any way it says ANANNTA SANTI, which means ENDING PEACE and a woman passing by me, who by the way had no manner what so ever to respect the fact that i was clicking a photo just walked right by the camera commented (in Nepali ofcourse,which sounds more rude than ever) "these Chinese click photos of whatever they find". and i'm thinking to myself, wow they do judge people no matter what. that's not it, you see, Kathmandu has this place called Thamel and it is the best place to visit. with all the coolness and hippiness and what not-ness, it's awesome. the local shopkeeper in their best behavior, even though they will cheat tourist, wish you as you walk on by. i guess i look pretty TOURISTY when i'm walking alone with nothing on my mind, wandering around looking around so they were wishing me as well, and getting disappointed when i spoke in Nepali. so, as i was passing by a shop, as usual, the guy said "hello" to me so i replied with the most appreciated smile that i had and as i passed on by he says to the other person (again in Nepali which sounds worse than in English), "That Chick(he might as well have said that) is definitly Nepali". i mean, dude, seriously? you think i'm Nepali yet you have to say that out loud? and i'm going "ugh, people. you amaze me".
I'm down with the whole judgmental thing and well i've somehow managed to overlook the judgement they pass on by me about everyone else including me as well. i think it's because i've never paid attention to them. but these things, i heard it unintentionally. and might i add, i finally know why girls bitch about almost everything. they are judged for EVERYTHING. Guys judge them, parents, teachers, neighbor, friends and even girls themselves. what else would they do instead of bitching about others too.
bitching and judgement is cool and everything, but only if you see it through someone else's eye. what you see might not be true, illusion itself is a disguise of it's own. so open your eyes and realize what might be true could be just another lie.

Bored

Sitting in a little room, wanting to go places, I find myself bored. I have a tumblr account where I reblog stuffs that I like. Most of them just happen to be related to traveling like a vagabond.

I wanna travel :(

This is all I wanted to blog about. God damn you age and no money-ness.

By the way, http://sangrachana.tumblr.com/ follow me on tumblr if you're cool and awesome :)

I follow back i assure you. (if you're seriously cool and awesome that is) 

random random and earth day talk

It's 3 in the morning and I'm sleepless with some thoughts unwritten. Thoughts about life and Thoughts about food, yes, I am kind of hungry rite now but i shall not eat and also thought about who the hell I'm writing for except for my one and only follower, my friend ANDREA UPADHYA. Dude, happy birthday. You just got a shout out on my blog, now isn't this a special thing that anybody could ever do for you? So, don't ask for anything else okay?
Which kind of reminds me, I'm broke. I have some shingles in my purse but I'm gonna have to put it on all my mum cause well, mother's day kind got plain, so i'm using it all up for her.

home girl ANDREA

I've never liked money. I think it's because of it's importance. The way people put Money first and humanity later, ugh, they disgust me. I'm all about (quoting Eric Cartman, whose last name i totally googled cause i forgot how to spell it) "TREE HUGGING HIPPIE CRAP". I love love, I respect the nature and I love letting things take it's course rather than trying to build some concrete THING on it's way.
Speaking of "TREE HUGGING HIPPIE CRAP" and NATURE, it's EARTH DAY. I think it's the only DAY apart from Birthdays that I feel very happy about. What do I do? well basically nothing, but i did plant a tree on Earth day once.I probably should do something, i mean mother Earth is carrying this lazy ass of mine everywhere around. If you think of it, it's her birthday. YEAH, i'm gonna do something real nice for her.Oh, i know.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOTHER EARTH

 Thank you so much for being awesome and I am so sorry that you need to carry me all the freaking time even though i'm old enough to walk on my own. I'm sorry that for my comfort you are letting others scar you and hurt you. I'm sorry that i haven't done anything to make you happy nor have I grown up to your expectations. I shall do you proud, one day or the other. My love for you is true and I shall prove my words some day. But till then I am sorry for all the suffering I have caused you, all the sacrifices you've had to and all the lose that i've cost you. 

With strings attached

Feeling that were dead, awakened again with the agony pain that awoke with it within.
Things fell apart broke down and dies, rite there and then but the feeling still remained within.
Stole a new heart, snatched a new beat yet the old one jumped rite back in.
Tires of it i gave up but with a new sound it heard, it started pounding again.
Never understood why this happens but no matter what, this heart never wins; love, feelings and emotions.
Not even a tear for itself, it wastes every god damn thing.
The picture still steals the very existence of the meaning of my existence.
Yet, i still drown in my own blood, sweat and tear even more further.
The world turned into a monster i it's puppet and the world became my master.
Used, thrown and betrayed is what i've become and i'm fine with it, but my eyes still bleed while i fake a smile and play along just to get in.
I still struggle for everyone's approval thinking they know it all, they know how everything works, they know how everything falls.
The cuts that they make, the scars that it leaves, the memories they try to build with it, the pain they try to plant in me, it just digs in me deeper, making my soul grow empty.
They dug so deep and they dug so wide, that my soul still creeps and it still cries.
My heart and soul now works on their command, now that i'm the puppet and the world is my master.

What I don't find, should I bother going out for it?

should I savage my civil to find what may not exist?

should I scratch my brain with the nails of my feet?

should I? could I? may I?

What I don't find, should i think of it as dead?

should I reveal the earth in case the devil's not met?

should I howl at the moon without turning?

should I? could I? may I?

What I don't find, should I find it in somebody?

should I dissect the human body?

should I destroy the heart?

should I? could I? may I?

What I don't find, should I believe I hear the voices calling me?

should I listen to the voices calling me?

should I hear voices at all?

should I? could I? may I?

What I don't find, should I say it's within me?

should I say it's within the depth of me?

should I say it's me?

should I? could I? may I?